she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
