I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
