Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
