I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
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Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
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I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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