I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
