He is such a slut. More and more my type.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
