This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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