my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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