96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
