i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize