as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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