i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
