I wish i was in the wii world.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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