So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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