I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
