There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
