Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
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i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
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Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
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