Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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