And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
