In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
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