That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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