Three words: puerto rican gang bang
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
birth control should be required to get into college
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He keeps bees of course he's weird
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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