He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize