Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
