i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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