You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
