dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
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