Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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