Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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