i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
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