Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We have started to decorate penises.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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