Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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