laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
