I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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