hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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