Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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