He asked to "fluff my boner.."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
