do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I wish there were birth control emojis
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
