do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize