Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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