Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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