It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
