I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
babies were throwing up all over the place
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
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A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Help me help you realize you are a moron
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH