No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?