I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
