At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag