Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?