Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.

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  (908): Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING. http://tfl.nu/rnks
  Replies (20) Good night (582) Bad night (2667)
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  (518): View more from New York

  my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...

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  (518): my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her... http://tfl.nu/xju0
  Replies (79) Good night (2221) Bad night (28576)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar

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  (616): They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar http://tfl.nu/bcnl
  Replies (37) Good night (1360) Bad night (9429)
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  (949): View more from California

  Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up

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  (949): Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up http://tfl.nu/ti5i
  Replies (20) Good night (2268) Bad night (4511)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.

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  (863): Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all. http://tfl.nu/glyl
  Replies (27) Good night (4874) Bad night (1771)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.

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  (816): Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please. http://tfl.nu/1nwj
  Replies (10) Good night (2840) Bad night (777)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.

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  (604): The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her. http://tfl.nu/woml
  Replies (7) Good night (1802) Bad night (632)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer

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  (647): well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wxzh
  Replies (3) Good night (1197) Bad night (533)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.

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  (604): I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away. http://tfl.nu/d7d8
  Replies (5) Good night (598) Bad night (786)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight

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  (404): I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight http://tfl.nu/qgh6
  Replies (4) Good night (386) Bad night (888)
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  (213): View more from California

  His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.

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  (213): His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry. http://tfl.nu/esf2
  Replies (2) Good night (1184) Bad night (470)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?

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  (512): did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz? http://tfl.nu/l1f0
  Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (439)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me

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  (425): I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me http://tfl.nu/4rz8
  Replies (4) Good night (665) Bad night (308)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me

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  (206): Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me http://tfl.nu/vrj3
  Replies (2) Good night (478) Bad night (466)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.

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  (416): Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life. http://tfl.nu/edw4
  Replies (10) Good night (456) Bad night (511)

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