the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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