yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
