This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
