We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
