i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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