Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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