You can't motorboat a personality
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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