she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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