you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
