glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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