you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
