I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
