I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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