My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
