So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
