I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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