Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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