I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize