I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
