Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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