i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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