Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
